@marebytes

Facebook tells me today is “National Winnie the Pooh Day” … I hope they’re ok with me just wearing a red t-shirt & no pants to the office

@marebytes

Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won’t be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that’s what’s been missing.

@marebytes

I’d have more respect for the weather man if he just got on camera & said “I have no idea, your guess is as good as mine -go outside & look”

@marebytes

In my opinion – until they add extra fries, a martini & a joint – they have no business calling it a Happy Meal

@marebytes

Hey people who design vacuums- Why the headlight?
Are people vacuuming in the dark? or riding them on the freeway & I just havent seen?

@marebytes

Brutally honest? I’m always honest … I guess the brutality would depend on your level of aversion to the truth

@marebytes

I have a fantasy that a big strong man shows up at my door, comes in unannounced & slowly, quietly & methodically renovates my bathroom

@marebytes

Just shared w/ my son the amazing story of a boy who wanted to go to his friend’s house & didn’t get to go & yet everybody lived in the end.