@maurex23
[God creating the frog]
“How about a really stupid-looking kangaroo fish?”
@maurex23
@maurex23
“I like Trump because he isn’t a politician.”
Right, because whenever my toilet breaks I call my electrician.
@maurex23
[spelling bee]
-your word is ‘amnesia’
-can you use it a sentence, please?
-your word is ‘amnesia’
@maurex23
Top 5 birth control methods
1. pills
2. hysterectomy
3. jean jackets
4. crocs
5. putting ketchup all over the fries instead of on the side
@maurex23
WINDEX CEO: listen, I can’t have you making puns anymore.
EMPLOYEE: okay, I just want to make things clear–
CEO: you’re fired.