Just heard that May is mental health month. Where do I go to pick up my supply?
I remember when it was just limbo dancers asking “how low can you go?”, now it seems like everyone in the news wants to answer that.
Life is a balance as you age. You lose hair, hearing and keen eyesight but you gain insight, experience and a lot of weight. Bad trade.
To my friends: You smile, I smile, you hurt, I hurt, you cry, I cry, you jump off a bridge. I’m gonna miss your e-mails.
Taught my kids to always let a strange dog smell their hand before petting them to see if it was friendly. Should have taught them to do the same with people.
When a really horrible person dies I always like to think of it as them being recalled.
I’m becoming psychic. Looking at a dusty exercise machine and I see a yard sale in its near future.
Reached a point in my life that I have no ‘bones to pick’ nor ‘axes to grind’. Most would call it forgiveness, I call it memory loss and it’s peaceful.
Red meat isn’t bad for you. Fuzzy, green meat is what you want to avoid.
‘Leave no stone unturned’ is good advice if you’re looking for something that crawls out from under rocks.
You can lose a lot on a no carb, no sugar diet. I tried it and immediately lost my will to live.
Kids are easy to care for until they learn to roll over. After that you’re never
sure what they’re up to for the rest of their lives.
If you’re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
Friend gave me a ‘stress’ ball to squeeze when I’m tense. Did what I always do when nervous, I ate it.
Always keep your head up and stand proud! That way your double chin won’t show in your pictures.