@maybetomhanks

god created the midwest so ur internet crushes could always be 10,000 miles away no matter where u go

@maybetomhanks

[dentist hands me a bag with a tootbrush and floss inside it]

uhmmmmm okay? now I feel weird I didn’t get you anything

@maybetomhanks

texts from ur dentist:

1. Happy birthday! Make sure you sign up for your six month appointment

2. This is a reminder to schedule an appointment!

3. I miss us lol

4. Ur just gna ignore me? lol. I’ve been in ur mouth