@mean_crow

to the scum photoshopping bandanas on my wedding photos, STOP. my wife has a bad memory & is in tears, she thinks she married a bandana guy

@mean_crow

hey don’t shoot me, i’m just the messenger! oh the letter says to shoot me? okay th-

@mean_crow

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said mommy bear. “Who hasn’t” muttered daddy bear. “What?! You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!”