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Page of meghaffer's best tweets

@meghaffer : My son has been awake for 15 minutes which means he's been telling me all about his favorite video game for 15 minutes.

@meghaffer: OMG this view is amazing!!!

- me opening the lid on the pizza box

@meghaffer: I'm not saying my house is haunted, but something just growled in here. It can't see me if I hide under the covers right?

@meghaffer: If listening to a 30 minute explanation of a 5 minute YouTube clip sounds fun, parenting may be right for you.

@meghaffer: Are sharks attracted to or repelled by pickles? I need to pack my beach cooler just right.

@meghaffer: *Sees feelings chasing me down.
*Builds wall of McDonald's fries.
*Crisis averted.

@meghaffer: I ate vegetables and now I'm hungrier than before. Donuts don't betray me like this.

@meghaffer: Seduction is an art and some of you are still making stick figures in finger paint

@meghaffer: Spring allergies- because my body likes to panic about plant sex

@meghaffer: I was worried about being overdressed for a Walmart run, but I spilled my dinner on my shirt, so I'm good now.