@merican_ninjy

“Let the chips fall where they may.”
-My kids when they’re eating chips on the couch.

@merican_ninjy

Yelling out “Stranger Danger!” is a good way to say no when a cashier asks for your zip code.

@merican_ninjy

Pro tip: when a cop asks you to step out of the car, don’t reply with “I’m too drunk, you get in.”

@merican_ninjy

I gave my wife a tip how she could wash the dishes better.

On a side note, Dawn detergent is really starting to make my hands more soft.