Friends and lovers may come and go but allergies are forever.
Ted Cruz thinks:
1. Presidents should pray every day
2. More prayers the better
3. Muslims pray 5x day
4. Ted Cruz wants a Muslim president.
Kim Davis becoming a Republican, dealing a huge blow to the “intolerant homophobic religious fundamentalist” wing of the Democratic Party.
The phrase “Whatever floats your boat” is misleading because, practically speaking, the only thing that’s going to float your boat is water.
Every picture I’ve seen of Neil Patrick Harris the last ten years has been of him adjusting his shirt cuffs. He needs better shirts.
Took me three hours to drive home through the snow, but it was worth it because when I got home, my family totally ignored me.
Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
“The ankle so important to a basketball player.” Something the announcer just said.
Got to admire these NFL players who are so committed to their jobs of beating the shit out of people that they do it even in their off time.