I flip off the rollercoaster camera, then buy a mug with the picture on it, ride it again, flip off the camera again while sipping my mug
Prank: put a bucket of water on top of the door, then shoot your roommate in the stomach. When the cops come, they get soaking wet!
I brought a t-shirt cannon to a knife fight. Everyone dropped their knives to catch their own piece of WNBA history.
Cop: do u have anything illegal in the vehicle
Me: *thinks about all the drugs in the car* no
Cop: why did you just say asterisk thinks abo
A parliament of owls, a murder of crows, a thatsso of ravens
Wanna feel old? 1990 was 40 years ago.
Whoops, pizza sauce on my hands. Better wash this off with soap and water. Oh poop on my ass? I’ll just use this dry paper and call it good.