Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of mikealfredcaine's best tweets

@mikealfredcaine : nice haircut what did you do ask him for a nice haircut & he said "no"

@mikealfredcaine: saw your mum at the supermarket buying vaseline & cucumbers & nothing else, no wonder your dad died if that what she puts in sandwiches

@mikealfredcaine: my grandad came to this country with four pounds in his pocket, my nan was holding a suitcase full of cash & heroin

@mikealfredcaine: my cousin jeff died today. sent flowers to the family with a little card saying "jeff is dead" so they know what the flowers are for

@mikealfredcaine: shave your dog in the winter so he stands out in the crowd. if you lose him u can easily describe him as the cold bald dog