@missmayn

Mexico should agree to pay for the wall then once it’s built tell Trump he did a terrible job and refuse to pay up.

@missmayn

Donald Trump should start preparing for next season of Dancing With The Stars.

@missmayn

We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.

@missmayn

I find it in poor taste that the 1am drive-thru attendant asks “How are you?” Not good, Maria. Clearly.

@missmayn

Him: Mm girl, back that ass up.
Me: Like on iCloud or something?

@missmayn

My therapist asked me to list my good qualities:nnNice to everyone’s facenUsually wear deodorantnThin cheese slicernnThat took four hours.