– Spider tinder
Personal ad: Handsome man (29), seeks short, open minded women to poke him in the eye with umbrellas. Busy streets only. No names please.
“Of course you’re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder” – alcohol
Stupid cats, can’t even YOLO
Marvel’s latest movie franchise follows an aging Peter Parker as he swaps crimefighting for medical studies in Spiderman: WebMD
What idiot called it Canada and not the US of Eh?
Things you can’t touch:
2. The Easter Bunny
3. Your wife’s sister
“You go girl” – asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
A prickle of porcupines
A murder of crows
A flamboyance of flamingos
A twitter of depressed, alcoholic perverts
A shrewdness of apes
“Two’s company, three’s a crowd” – people who’ve never seen a crowd