@mofrorock

“Nice legs”
*Swipes right*
“Nice legs”
*Swipes right*
“Nice legs”
*Swipes right*
“Nice legs”
*Swipes right*

– Spider tinder

@mofrorock

Personal ad: Handsome man (29), seeks short, open minded women to poke him in the eye with umbrellas. Busy streets only. No names please.

@mofrorock

“Of course you’re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder” – alcohol

@mofrorock

Marvel’s latest movie franchise follows an aging Peter Parker as he swaps crimefighting for medical studies in Spiderman: WebMD

@mofrorock

Things you can’t touch:

1. Happines
2. The Easter Bunny
3. Your wife’s sister
4. This

@mofrorock

“You go girl” – asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like

@mofrorock

A prickle of porcupines
A murder of crows
A flamboyance of flamingos
A twitter of depressed, alcoholic perverts
A shrewdness of apes
A parla

@mofrorock

“Two’s company, three’s a crowd” – people who’ve never seen a crowd