@mom_ontherocks

Ok so all of our kids get excuse notes for school tomorrow whether in person or online right?

“I’m sorry I’m late, my parents were drinking stuff and yelling at the TV all night”

@mom_ontherocks

My son lying to his little sister so she isn’t sad about a movie ending reminds me this year has brought them so much closer together and also kids will lie about anything

@mom_ontherocks

My 4yo asked for a skeleton to sleep in her room with her, in case you’re wondering the level of freak show I can inspire

@mom_ontherocks

Her, 4: I want a baby! New baby sister? Or brother?

Me: We can’t have another baby. You would need a new daddy for mommy to have another baby

Her: New cat?

@mom_ontherocks

Apparently telling your spouse “we’re going down” as you wake them up from their nap as the plane is landing is not appreciated. Oops

@mom_ontherocks

Husband: *Grabs a pillow off the couch* Did we get new pillows?

Me: Uh huh, last year, when we got the new couches

@mom_ontherocks

My toddler just screamed GET OFF MY LAWN to her brother so it’s nice to know I’m not the only one becoming a totally different person right now

@mom_ontherocks

Anyone interested in a 4 year old whose new hobby is wall art? Porch pickup only.

@mom_ontherocks

Angel: Here’s the final human mold *drops it*

God: *creates mom look*

Angel: Are you mad?

God: No, just disappointed

@mom_ontherocks

No you cannot have candy until you finish your spoonful of Nutella is apparently something I say now