Happy MOM THIS HUGE ASSIGNMENT IS DUE TOMORROW AND I’VE JUST STARTED IT to all those who celebrate.
My daughter still doesn’t understand this math problem even though I’ve explained it in several different frustrated tones.
Get your relatives speaking to one another again by sending a heartfelt Christmas card with a picture of your family with an extra child nobody knows.
Marriage isn’t between a man and a woman. It’s between a person who is certain they closed the garage door and a person who is certain they did not close the garage door.
I get it, McFlurry machine. I don’t work when I’m at work either.
My teen isn’t feeling well and WebMD says imminent death but Google classroom says imminent math test.
Dinner is a great time for my family to come together to tell each other exactly what is wrong with the meal I made.
Husband: *looking at the Amazon packages at the front door*
Me: My eyes are up here.
Me, in my teens: *tries a new hobby*
Me, in my 20s: *tries a new career*
Me, in my 30s: *tries a new burner on my stove*
Me: *calls child’s name*
…
Me: *calls child’s name*
…
Me: *opens candy wrapper*
Child: THAT BETTER NOT BE MY HALLOWEEN CANDY!!
My husband has been gone for 6 months. He’s on his 4th tour of Ikea.
Facebook and Instagram are down so now I have to creep on my ex in person.
My 9-year-old is very passionate about learning to play the piano. She’s even more passionate about learning to play the piano at 6:37 in the morning.
The Amazon toy catalogue came to the house and my kids have already run up a 3 million dollar Christmas list tab.
I’m looking for a school picture package that’s more than 4 wallets and less than 54 wallets & a wall mural.