I know I’m getting older because I need more and more help from my teen to complete the People magazine crossword puzzle.
Sure, you can get your wife jewelry or an expensive purse or perfume for Christmas, but she will never forget the Christmas you got her a mop. Never.
My son has been awake for 3 hours and he’s been talking for 4 of them.
I showed my husband a list of home improvement projects we could start this weekend, and after looking it over, he decided to stay in a hotel.
My baby is now a toddler. Everything up is now down. On the floor. She’s trashing the place.
My husband asked if I know the attractive, young woman who jogs down our street every day around lunch and this is one way to lose an office with a view.
My husband sneezed and now everyone on Nextdoor is asking what that loud noise was.
Because I’m on diet, I only ate half of a donut and saved the other half for 2 minutes later.
“Raising a child is nothing like having a dog,” I say as my child begs to be let outside so he can pee on a tree.
The closest I am to my hunter-gatherer ancestors is when I am gutting an Amazon package.
You know the saying “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”? Yeah, that doesn’t work when vacuuming up a pancake.
Prayers for my children who very tragically found vegetables mixed in their mac and cheese.
My 7-year-old asked if people still need to go to the dentist in Heaven so I told her the truth, dentists don’t go to Heaven.
My husband witnessed a miracle today. The Amazon truck drove by our house
…without stopping.
It’s incredible how fast toddlers move. I had my eyes on my 1yo and looked away for 30 seconds and now I need to pick her up at the airport.