@mommajessiec

Me: *explains math problem*

Tween: I don’t understand.

Me: *explains the exact same way except more aggravated*

@mommajessiec

Me:
Husband:
Me:
Husband:
Me:
Husband:
Me:
Husband:

Me: *looks at phone*

Husband: What are you up to?

@mommajessiec

Quarantine day 6: Went to this restaurant called The Kitchen. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

@mommajessiec

Overheard my kids talking about how weird their teacher is.

I’m their teacher.

@mommajessiec

[in the bedroom]

Husband: Close your eyes. I’m going to do something you’re really going to enjoy.

Me: Okay.

H: *takes the kids and leaves for the day*

@mommajessiec

Kid: You’re my bestest friend, Mom.

Me: *eyes well up with tears* Bestest isn’t a word.

@mommajessiec

Husband: *bleeding*

Me: *calling 911*

Husband: Well, Well, Well. Look who’s on her phone again.