I didn’t have google maps growing up. The way you knew you were going the wrong way was by driving into a different state.
My son said his friend’s parents took him to Disney World for getting good grades and suddenly I’m not angry about his C- in math anymore.
Me: *clicks on YouTube video to learn how to do something I’ve never done*
YouTube video: In this 30 minute video-
Me: I can take it from here.
Dads, when there’s 38 things to do before everyone is ready to leave: I’m going to go wait in the car.
I may have told my children they can get whatever they want at the store but I have the right as their mother to veto the first 864 things they pick out.
Me, looking for my phone: *calls it 5 times*
Me, finding my phone: Wow! I have 5 missed calls.
Parenting is a lot like a home improvement project. Right after the “This isn’t so bad” phase comes the “I should call someone who knows what they’re doing” phase.
My husband may be winning this argument but little does he know I’m about to bring up something he said 10 years that has absolutely no relevance to what we’re arguing about.
Home Depot specializes in how can we confuse and overwhelm someone who just needs a lightbulb.
Diet update: I’m already down 3 scales after throwing them out the window.
The minute you start feeling good about your parenting Stacy from Facebook posts about her son winning the Nobel Peace Prize.
It’s been a really expensive month for the last 125 months.
Newlyweds: What is mine is yours and what is yours is mine.
Married 10 years: You’re sitting in the dog’s spot.
Me: I’m not paying someone to do this job when I can do it myself.
Me, 30 minutes into job: I will pay someone all my money.
My daughter is writing a poem about our dog and she’s trying to find a word that rhymes with his name. Our dog’s name is Tucker. This will not end well.