My 11-year-old is talking about what she wants her future house to look like and I’m pretty sure she is describing a zoo.
With 8 coupons I watched my grocery bill go from $301.57 to $299.37. Man, what a rush.
Despite standing in the same spot and yelling “Dad!” 427 times, my daughter is nowhere closer to finding where her dad is.
Why do we only do certain things for toddlers? Maybe I want some applause when I eat a piece of fruit.
Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.
People who have drive and determination impress me. Yesterday one of my kitchen drawers got stuck and I was like, guess I’m never using a fork again.
I keep calling one of my soccer players by the wrong name but in my defense I’ve only been coaching the team for a month and I’m her mother.
My daughter has to give a weather report for school and I hope she does a good job and gets everything wrong.
My daughter wants to know why I won’t peel and slice her apple and according to her “because I’m driving” is not a valid excuse.
Dads will wake up at 5 AM so they have more time in their day to tell everyone they woke up at 5 AM.
The first step when putting on a fitted sheet is, nope, it goes the other way.
50% of modern life is trying to figure out what’s beeping.
Part of adulthood is finding a hobby that you don’t have time for.
I’m only watching this show to see if anyone knocks over that poorly placed houseplant.
One job requirement for a substitute bus driver is being able to navigate with directions given by 4th graders.