Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us
@msdanifernandez : Please respect my privacy during this time. Nothing happened I just don’t want to talk to anyone.
@msdanifernandez: *eats 3 edibles*
...am....am I my dogs sugar daddy
@msdanifernandez: Cashier: do you want cash back?
Me: I mean who wouldn't. There's ring of fire, I walk the line. Let's not forget his christmas album
@msdanifernandez: Sometimes I feel doomed in dating, but then a random internet man with a profile pic of Deadpool writes “that’s cause u havent been with me yet ;)” and I am filled with joy and hope
@msdanifernandez: Game Show Host: if you were stranded on an island with no people, what--
Me: omg yes
@msdanifernandez: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already. WebMD: TYPHOID FEVER
@msdanifernandez: Yes, how much for the baby jacuzzi?
Ma'am, that's a crockpot.
@msdanifernandez: Little Mermaid: I want to be where the people are
Me: trust me u dont
@msdanifernandez: [during sex]
him: Im so sorry. This literally never happens
[takes out telescope to watch comet]
@msdanifernandez: *on death bed*
priest: any regrets my child?
*montage of every time i saw a large dog and didn't try to ride it*
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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