@mstluvstrinkets

People dating on the internet have it so easy. Back in my day, a man would walk uphill both ways in the snow to disappoint a woman.

@mstluvstrinkets

Anything I accomplish before I finish my first cup of coffee has been fueled by rage.

@mstluvstrinkets

Her: I’m running a little late.
M: how many more seconds er I mean yeah sure take your time.

Me, trying to play it cool with the babysitter

@mstluvstrinkets

Playing play doh w/ 3 is just her ordering me to “make elephant! Now teapot!” As if I have the artistic ability to create more than a ball.

@mstluvstrinkets

Got fast food so many times this week that when mcd’s asked me to pull out front to wait for my order, I was expecting an intervention.

@mstluvstrinkets

What’s the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick?

Asking for my two year old.

@mstluvstrinkets

I like to slip a Honey Boo Boo episode in every once in awhile to remind my husband that it could be worse.

@mstluvstrinkets

Is it against the law for postal workers to smile or was it my audacity to mail something?

@mstluvstrinkets

You Shook Me All Night Long is a great song that also describes what I do to my husband when he’s snoring.