@my_minivan_life

Just discovered my 7yo wearing his underwear backwards again. Playing classical music while pregnant is bullshit.

@my_minivan_life

8yo: …
6yo: …
8yo: …
6yo: …
8yo: …
6yo: …
8yo: ….Punches 6yo in the face.
Me: Woah,what the hell was that for?
8yo: He knows.

@my_minivan_life

Just told my two kids that I love them both equally and the one with his shoes on the wrong feet totally bought it.

@my_minivan_life

Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.

@my_minivan_life

Someone asked me today what was the toughest thing about being a parent. I would have to say it’s the kids.

@my_minivan_life

“Owen, you must hide this baby from Anakin Skywalker at all costs.”

“Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?”

“That’s cool.”

@my_minivan_life

8yo: Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Me: Yes.
8yo: Where?
Me:…
8yo: WHERE!
6yo: (from outside) It’s spreading.
Me: I’m up.

@my_minivan_life

No thank you GPS.I have this magic ring on my left hand that connects me to the nice young lady in the passenger’s seat who knows everything