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@mydmac : Just remember, we are all just 1 small prescription away from riding a unicorn.
@mydmac: I don't hate children, just yours.
@mydmac: I've been taking anti-performance enhancing drugs and according to my life they're working really well.
@mydmac: I have absolutely no problem following the juice diet for 3 days. You can fit a pizza in the juicer right?
@mydmac: *breaking up with BF
I'll never forget you David.
'My name is Jason'
@mydmac: What does it mean when your doctor slaps the beer from your hand?
@mydmac: When people dig up a grave in the movies it's always so fast. It usually takes me days.
@mydmac: Boss: You can't or you won't do it?
@mydmac: When I get naked in front of a man for the first time I never do it slowly and seductively, that would just give him time to get away.
@mydmac: *uneasily answers phone
'No, I made you very happy the other night'