
apparently this year was written by stephen king
apparently this year was written by stephen king
I want to give away free lab coats on the streets and turn our city’s homeless problem into its crazy doctor problem
IF A CAN OPENER DOESN’T WORK IS IT CALLED A CAN’T OPENER
my new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone’s having a party
my new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone’s having a party
the only reason you should be showing me pictures of your kids is if they’re missing or you want them to be
my new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone’s having a party
when I see a girl tie a cherry stem with her tongue I put a whole fish in my mouth and pull out the skeleton then I leave with her boyfriend
when I have dinner with a vegetarian I order two steaks to use as a bun for my third steak
why do people live in regular houses when there are steakhouses