@nachosarah

hey joggers instead of those dumb little shorts you should wear batman costumes so I can feel like my neighborhood is protected

@nachosarah

if all my friends jumped off a cliff I wouldn’t do it too because cats can land on their feet they’ll be fine

@nachosarah

if we’re on a date and you’re rude to the waiter I’d be like holy shit I’m on a date

@nachosarah

hey pregnant lady slowly crossing the street on a green light it’s a baby not a forcefield

@nachosarah

hey guys maybe girls are so cold all the time because you make us shave off all our hair

@nachosarah

I wish parents would watch their kids better because my basement is filling up