Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us
@nappydolemite : Her: I froze my eggs.
Me: ᶦᶜᵉ ᶦᶜᵉ ᵇᵃᵇᶦᵉˢ
@nappydolemite: Someone greased my downward spiral.
@nappydolemite: Living well is the best revenge. Hitting them with your car is a close second, though.
@nappydolemite: Life is short. Hug your children. Hug your neighbor's children. Hug the pretty cashier at the dry cleaner. Hug the arresting officer.
@nappydolemite: I love hoodies because maybe I work out, maybe I ate 4 whole large pizzas last week. You don't know.
@nappydolemite: Her: "If you can't handle me at my-"
Me: "I'm going to stop you right there. I can't. It's fine."
@nappydolemite: I just saw I bio that said, "22 and happily married," and all I can think is hoo boy are YOU going to be in for a big surprise when you become an adult.
@nappydolemite: This website is free. It only costs you your mental health and you weren't doing anything with that anyway.
@nappydolemite: Wife: "We've had too many children. Where will they all sleep?"
Husband: "I don't know. Just stack 'em in the corners or something."
- how bunk beds were invented
@nappydolemite: If there was a problem, yo, I caused it.
There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
Submit a Tweet
FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
We also retweet all the tweets we post on this site, might as well follow us on Twitter!
And what's more, we post our best tweets in Facebook as well! Like us on Facebook to get a daily dose of Funny Tweeter on your news feed.