@nerdreign

When someone rings my doorbell, I’m every bit as upset as my dogs.

@nerdreign

Preparing a work evaluation for someone who adds shit to my day on a regular.

Wondering if “inbred whackadoodle” paints a full picture.

@nerdreign

I want a firsthand test of the “mo money, mo problems” hypothesis.

@nerdreign

When I was 16, I thought I could slam and lock my bedroom door in the house my parents paid for. So they took my door. That’s 80s parenting.

@nerdreign

If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.

@nerdreign

Courtney Love thinks she found the plane. It’s like God doesn’t trust us to write our own jokes.

@nerdreign

Body language can be so subtle that only an intuitive person can read your mood. Body slams, I have found, are far more direct.

@nerdreign

Guys, I have to stop cyber-bullying North Korea. They called my mom.

@nerdreign

I worry that people who say “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” may have missed a Science class or two.

@nerdreign

When runner-ups in reality shows say, “I may not have won but I’m still a winner,” do they understand how language and/or competition works?