@NoogsCorner: The first guy to ever throw water at girl in a white shirt probably broke the record for the number of high-fives received in one minute.
@NoogsCorner: That awkward moment when Batman opens the condom compartment instead of the Batarang compartment in his utility belt.
@NoogsCorner: I like running up to kids, punching a puppy in the face and screaming "WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?" And that's my long-term solution to religion.
@NoogsCorner: Witch Logic:
I have the magical ability to turn any item into a flying vehicle. I guess I'll use that broom.
@NoogsCorner: Me: We spend a lot of time together.
Her: Turn left.
Me: Just think we should take this to the next level.
Her: Arriving at destination.
@NoogsCorner: When your partner cheats on you, do what every respectable person does. Post their name and phone number on 4Chan.
@NoogsCorner: An ancient tribe of homosapiens split off from the rest and stared at the sun for thousands of years. Today we call them Asians.