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Page of NoogsCorner's best tweets

@NoogsCorner : Superwife! Gets pissed faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than your longest friendships. Leaps your decisions in a single bound.

@NoogsCorner: To do list:nn1) Kill the fly in my room. nn2) Try to snort multivitamins.nn3) Practice Hadouken in mirror.nn4) Kill the fly's loved ones.

@NoogsCorner: Were those thousands of turtle lives worth the life of one stupid, spoiled Princess with a strange fetish for Italian plumbers?

@NoogsCorner: Curiosity should start overthrowing the local government and drilling for oil any minute now.

@NoogsCorner: Cop: You been drinking?nnMe: No.nnCop: Say the alphabet backwards.nnMe: Alphabet the. nnCop: Hilarious. Say each letter.nnMe: Each letter.

@NoogsCorner: Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East."