@northcoastkevin

If you wear your jeans 5 days in a row, they become all baggy and it looks like you’re losing weight.

Follow me for more life pro tips.

@northcoastkevin

My girlfriend keeps talking about getting married, I hope she meets a really nice guy.

@northcoastkevin

I accidentally walked into the women’s room at the gym today, then I bought a tampon from the machine so it wouldn’t be awkward.

@northcoastkevin

[gets pulled over by the cops]

Cop: sir, you need to have 2 or more people in your vehicle to drive the HOV lane.

Me: check the trunk.