“I want this one, but look at this one, oh, but this one is my FAVORITE!”-
-my kids looking through Christmas catalogs or me driving past multi-million dollar houses
The hand doctor told me that I can no longer cook, clean, or vacuum.
Which would be amazing news if I actually did any of those things.
me: you can get hurt when you don’t listen. daddy and I watched a show last night about a kid who lost his eye because he was being bad
6: what happened?!
me: well, he stole a dragon but that’s not the point
me: what’s your favorite part of fall?
4: jumping in piles of leaves
me: that’s fun. do you like anything else?
4: money
my physical therapist told me I should be using a foam roller “or a wine bottle, since I know you have one of those at home”
glass half empty: I just found an old banana in my kid’s backpack
glass half full: It’s only 6 days old
well, my kid accomplished at least one of the two reminders she gave Alexa last night
I was applying for homeowners insurance today and they asked if I had any pets to which I said, “yes, two cats.” And then they asked me “have they been trained to attack or cause bodily harm?” and I wanted to know if anyone had been able to do this because I’ll hire you
I bought a new cat tree for my cats and they are just having the best time playing in the box it came in.
me: why aren’t you eating your breakfast?
3: it smells hot
4: I wanna watch Sing 2!
hubs: you’ve watched that a thousand times.
4: not today.
I would like a mode of transportation that only allows me to travel a foot at a time with maximum effort requiring stellar balance.
*pogo stick inventor* I got you.
Reason 5,746 why parents drink- my kids are fighting over whose horse is going faster on the same merry-go-round
You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks. I had lunch yesterday”
I wish I was as consistent as the poppy seed that finds the space between my two front teeth