@notsoevilrick

The duck was completely silent the entire ride. Didn’t say a single word to me. Five stars.

@notsoevilrick

If you ever need to find evidence to prove someone’s guilt or innocence, always check the pudding first.

@notsoevilrick

From my experience, the worst thing you can say at the end of a date is, “That’ll do, pig.”

@notsoevilrick

I have a hard time telling the difference between 21 Dragons and Imagine Pilots.

@notsoevilrick

Marvel just revealed the title we’ve all been waiting for.
Spiderman: You’ll Probably Have To Watch It At Home

@notsoevilrick

It would be so creepy if instead of crying, babies were born laughing.

@notsoevilrick

Apparently it was disrespectful to wear my Slayer hoodie at my friend’s murdered husband’s funeral.