@nutsaremixed

Her to her boyfriend: I’ve eaten so much cake I’m pretty sure my blood stream is pure cake mix!

Narrator:….and that boys and girls is how the first vampire came about

@nutsaremixed

Them: I really really really want a zigga zig ahhh

Hostage negotiator: ok but you need to let the women and children go first.

@nutsaremixed

Him: the risk of getting caught, having sex in a public place is HOT!

Her: ok….. you pick the place

Him: Over there in those dense trees where we won’t get caught