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@ohmygrapeness : Jewish Baristas, or as I like to call them...
@ohmygrapeness: “I just love a man in uniform”
~ drunk me, to my garden gnomes
@ohmygrapeness: There’s no such thing as a 10 second rule, with a 5 second dog.
...or as I like to call it... fancy pants!
For them dirty farmers.
@ohmygrapeness: * Wins lottery
* Blows it all on a pack of decent razor blades
@ohmygrapeness: Moaning "Oh God" on a Sunday morning is the closest I'll get to church
@ohmygrapeness: I like my whiskey like my marriage....
On the rocks.
@ohmygrapeness: Millennials urban dictionary everything... I come from a time when the thesaurus roamed the earth.
@ohmygrapeness: Whenever I’m about to give a speech in front of an audience, I imagine myself naked.