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Page of ohmygrapeness's best tweets

@ohmygrapeness : Jewish Baristas, or as I like to call them...

He brews.

@ohmygrapeness: “I just love a man in uniform”

~ drunk me, to my garden gnomes

@ohmygrapeness: There’s no such thing as a 10 second rule, with a 5 second dog.

@ohmygrapeness: Lingerie.

...or as I like to call it... fancy pants!

@ohmygrapeness: * Wins lottery

* Blows it all on a pack of decent razor blades

@ohmygrapeness: Moaning "Oh God" on a Sunday morning is the closest I'll get to church

@ohmygrapeness: I like my whiskey like my marriage....

On the rocks.

@ohmygrapeness: Millennials urban dictionary everything... I come from a time when the thesaurus roamed the earth.

@ohmygrapeness: Whenever I’m about to give a speech in front of an audience, I imagine myself naked.

Wait, what