[ new burger joint ]
Me: I hear this place has the best burgers in town
Waitress: Yeah, and we make our own ketchup
No thanks, diet. I don’t trust words that are 75% die.
Boyfriend planted watermelon seedlings in our garden. I just bought a watermelon to put beside his plant before he wakes up tomorrow.
Teaching my 9yo to sew. She’s going to make a great wife to someone in 1836.
Today on Facebook:
1) Jen feels betrayed but doesn’t want to talk about it
2) Kim started a prayer circle
3) Lori posted 87 recipes
You think you understand people and then you see a car with eyelashes on the headlights.
It’s 27 outside. Oh great, even the weather is younger and cooler than me now.
A bug zapper, but for people trying to come into my office.
[ Boyfriend walks into the room ]
Well, well, well….if it isn’t the boy who tried to break up with me in a dream last night.
[ during job interview ]
– “Why do you think you would make a good asset to our team?”
– “I give up, why?”