Funny Tweeter

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Page of ohpeetie's best tweets

@ohpeetie : [ new burger joint ]

Me: I hear this place has the best burgers in town

Waitress: Yeah, and we make our own ketchup

Me: *leaves*

@ohpeetie: No thanks, diet. I don't trust words that are 75% die.

@ohpeetie: Boyfriend planted watermelon seedlings in our garden. I just bought a watermelon to put beside his plant before he wakes up tomorrow.

@ohpeetie: Teaching my 9yo to sew. She's going to make a great wife to someone in 1836.

@ohpeetie: Today on Facebook:

1) Jen feels betrayed but doesn't want to talk about it
2) Kim started a prayer circle
3) Lori posted 87 recipes

@ohpeetie: You think you understand people and then you see a car with eyelashes on the headlights.

@ohpeetie: It's 27 outside. Oh great, even the weather is younger and cooler than me now.

@ohpeetie: A bug zapper, but for people trying to come into my office.

@ohpeetie: [ Boyfriend walks into the room ]

Well, well, well....if it isn't the boy who tried to break up with me in a dream last night.

@ohpeetie: [ during job interview ]

- "Why do you think you would make a good asset to our team?"

- "I give up, why?"