Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of oldmanweldon's best tweets

@oldmanweldon : UNITED EMPLOYEE: Beat this guy up so we can take the thing he paid for. LITERALLY THE POLICE: Okay

@oldmanweldon: A bee is willing to end it's own life just to cause you a tiny amount of pain. I can relate to that level of pettiness.

@oldmanweldon: I have this fun drinking game where you take a drink every time you'd like one because you're an adult and you can make decisions yourself.