Before kids: I’d choose going blind over going deaf.
After kids: Deaf! I wanna be deaf!
My kids and I are exact opposites.
They cry when I walk away, and I cry when they walk towards me.
Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up & play dead and they usually leave you alone.
I don’t know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have.
I remember Daddy told me fairy tales can come true so any time an old lady offers me an apple or cookie I kill her and bury her in the woods