@ozzyunc

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, & acceptance: the five stages of watching them put lettuce on your sandwich at Subway.

@ozzyunc

Oil is made from dinosaurs. Plastic is made from oil. Plastic dinosaurs are made from real dinosaurs.

@ozzyunc

“I want to get drunk in public.”
“Me too but on pancake batter.”
“If only there was a way to solve both problems.”
-The Origin of Eggnog