Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of partlyfunny's best tweets

@partlyfunny : My wife does this cute thing. She sets her alarm clock an hour before she has to get up and then hits snooze 27 times. It's so adorable.

@partlyfunny: I got chased by two Canadian geese today. I know they were Canadian because when they realized I was genuinely scared, they apologized.

@partlyfunny: Drugs and alcohol aren't the answer. Unless the question is why did you shit on the sidewalk last night?

@partlyfunny: If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.

@partlyfunny: My 11 yo noticed my receding hairline and thought it was hilarious. Until I explained how heredity works.