My superpower is turning food and drink into larger pants.
My kids have voted, and the results are in. It’s official, I’ve been elected the President of Empty Threats.
My sleeping pills say don’t mix with alcohol, but drop it in the glass and it dissolves just fine. Doctors think they know everything.
Let my son leave the house today wearing a striped shirt and plaid shorts. I’m done, he’s natural selections problem now.