@pattymo

In ~72 hours this will be completely incomprehensible

@pattymo

Brutus is my BOY, dude. We’ve been crushing it together for years. Ah word here he comes now. Looks like he got me a new knife, sick

@pattymo

Just came across my proto-Simpsons shitpost from 2015, approximately one million years ago

@pattymo

After every one of Benedict Cumberbatch’s lines in DR. STRANGE, turn to your neighbor & say “I guess that’s why they call him Dr. Strange”

@pattymo

“And the guy’s name was Anthony WEINER? Come on” – high school AP U.S. history student, 2046

@pattymo

GOOD COP: Crazy girlfriend? I know how THAT is
BAD COP: He’s trying to get on your side so you confess
GOOD COP: Jesus Christ, Frank

@pattymo

*cocks shotgun* I asked you a question: in order to ride a pug would you rather be shrunk to its size or have it grown to your size

@pattymo

AMERICAN SNIPER is, without a doubt, the most violent entry in the AMERICAN PIE series

@pattymo

Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn’t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get