@paulablu22

* asks plastic surgeon

” can you make me look like this Snapchat filter minus the crown of flowers?”

@paulablu22

If you add ‘ish’ on the end of the time, you’re not really late.

@paulablu22

Hey guy in your car behind me, Your honking isn’t going to make me type any faster.

@paulablu22

Telling my daugthers date that “she has lice and its very contagious the closer you get to her.”
*Correct way to parent.

@paulablu22

A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up along side them and say “I think we lost them.”