Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@phalguy : I've got 99 problems,
but my OCD wants one more.
@phalguy: How do Tie Fighter pilots see sideways?
How do Stormtroopers go to the bathroom?
*Star Wars thoughts that keep me awake at night.
@phalguy: Whoever came up with the slogan Diamonds are Forever, obviously never had herpes.
@phalguy: I'm sleeping in this morning.
@phalguy: I just watched a tumbleweed get blown across the road.
I'm so jealous.
@phalguy: 10: What does AF mean?
After Flossing. Now go brush your teeth and they will be clean AF.
Why do you ask?
10: Mom said you were lazy AF.
@phalguy: I'm at my most NASCAR driver when I really have to pee.
@phalguy: Realtor: This house here comes with a playroom
Wife: Oh, the kids will love that!
Realtor: It's not that kind of playroom
@phalguy: After watching Star Wars 20 told me he probably wouldn't go and see it again.
And now I'm thinking he looks a lot like my old mailman.
@phalguy: [At dentist]
Dentist: Any plans for the weekend?
Dentist: I'm not doing anything either.
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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