The Molotov cocktail is of course named after Vitaly Molotov, an 18th century Russian industrialist who exploded after being thrown at a car
Hi I’m here for my vasectomy.
“Would you like that toasted?”
“Haha whoops sorry, just came from my other job. Ok let’s do this.”
COP: Did the suspect have a birthmark?
MARK: He’s alive so I’m assuming he had a birth, yes.
Horse-drawn carriages are pretty cool but the horses should learn to draw other stuff
my sixth birthday party was so formal that we roberted for apples
I just told my dog to “say hi” to another dog. And yes, I realize that’s crazy; this chihuahua obviously only speaks Spanish.
ME: I’ll sleep on it.
MATTRESS SALESMAN: Ok.
ME: So wrap it up. I’d like to sleep on it tonight.
MATTRESS SALESMAN: Oh, you want the… ok.
“Vodka martini. Shaken not stirred.”
“So just the normal way you make a martini then?”
She *blows into Nintendo cartridge* took *blows into Nintendo cartridge* the *blows into Nintendo cartridge* kids
mark, my words. *mark brings me a dictionary* thanks mark