Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. That's it, don't make us say cringy things like YouTubers say at the end of their videos. Click here to follow us

Page of pinupteacher's best tweets

@pinupteacher : The confused head tilt your dog does but me when someone asks me if I want fries or salad.

@pinupteacher: Looking out the window, some kid on the plane asked why everything was getting smaller. Haha, what a dummy. WE'RE getting bigger. Kids, lol.

@pinupteacher: [speed dating]

Anyway, do you have a baby hedgehog?


*I take a deep breath and roll my eyes*

[timer beeps]

@pinupteacher: [blind date]

"Oh wow, I see you brought your Legos."

*huge sigh* LEGO. It's called Lego.

@pinupteacher: Time out. Otters not only sleep holding hands, but have a SPECIAL POCKET to hold their favorite rock? Humans are bullshit.

@pinupteacher: [Chaperoning field trip]

ME BEFORE WE GO: Only rule is don't lose any kids.

AFTER I LOSE A KID: New rule. You're allowed to lose one kid.

@pinupteacher: The "Ooooo" the audience makes during a sitcom kiss but for me when I finally take a shower.

@pinupteacher: I'm at my most pacman when I try and get to the snack table at a party without interacting with a single person.

@pinupteacher: *date leans in* Tell me something I don't know about you.

*I lean in* I have a french fry in my pocket.

@pinupteacher: ME: What tattoo should I get?

TATTOO ARTIST: Something meaningful that represents love and connection.

ME: One ravioli on my thigh please.