@pissrifle

good news Craig, we got your murder charge bumped down to theft. just tell us why you stole that dude’s blood/bones

@pissrifle

GREETINGS MORTAL, YOU MAY ASK ME ONE QUE- “what’s the deal with airline food?” GODDAMNIT JERRY HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING THIS CRYSTAL

@pissrifle

this is ur brain *an egg* this is drugs *a frying pan* this is ur brain on drugs *egg & frying pan wearing sunglasses*