Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of pondermymaker's best tweets

@pondermymaker : Oh you think I’m funny? Name three of my jokes.

@pondermymaker: People who get in loud cell phone arguments in public, everyone secretly loves you.

@pondermymaker: Wife: play your cards right and you’re getting lucky tonight

Narrator: He did not play his cards right

@pondermymaker: Boss: Do you have to be so sarcastic?

Me: Great question Dave.

@pondermymaker: Turns out the symptoms for "mild heart attack" are identical to those of "having a RL acquaintance make an appearance in your notifications"