@poutinesmoothie

Because I didn’t know any better, I always sang “bowels of holly” as a kid.

@poutinesmoothie

Why did they think the horses would be able to reconstruct Humpty? They don’t have any engineering/surgery knowledge, or thumbs, for that matter.

@poutinesmoothie

Because a fish decided to walk on land years ago, I am now forced to pay taxes and wear pants in public.

@poutinesmoothie

If you replace “umbrella” with “Nutella” in Rihanna’s song, the song still works, if not more so.