give me a pen that doesnt look like a flower before i kill myself, Sheryl.
Im on a date I want to leave how do i leave without-nevermind I said that out loud he left
my roomba is carrying a beer around the house and eating chips off the floor just like me
*opens dating site account* prepare to be dated you pieces of shit
I love watching a bird of prey in flight, soaring through the–nevermind its a trash bag everything sucks
you got mad on your own you can get happy on your own
-me giving a baby advice
i can guess how someone will die based on their clothes
date: what about me?
Hawaiian themed bathroom fire
You know whats scarier than a bee chasing you because i dont