@prettysadmostly

Im on a date I want to leave how do i leave without-nevermind I said that out loud he left

@prettysadmostly

my roomba is carrying a beer around the house and eating chips off the floor just like me

@prettysadmostly

I love watching a bird of prey in flight, soaring through the–nevermind its a trash bag everything sucks

@prettysadmostly

you got mad on your own you can get happy on your own
-me giving a baby advice

@prettysadmostly

i can guess how someone will die based on their clothes
date: what about me?
Hawaiian themed bathroom fire