@pro_worrier_

5yo: Mommy if I help pull weeds will you pay me a million dollars?
Me: No
5yo: How about 6 dollars
Me: Sure!

I got hustled.

@pro_worrier_

I can’t decide if it’s amazing or terrifying that my two oldest children managed to stop arguing long enough to come up with a secret handshake.

@pro_worrier_

I took my kids to a restaurant for the first time in a year.

Turns out the pandemic was not the only reason I was avoiding taking them in public

@pro_worrier_

I’ve decided that my go to from now on will be

“Sorry my house is a mess my husband is out of town”

They don’t need to know that it’s like this no matter what.

@pro_worrier_

Instead of going to see Godzilla vs Kong I’ll just ask two of my kids to do a project together.

@pro_worrier_

Me: What are you doing sweet girl
4yo: Making my dolls eat brains.

Help.

@pro_worrier_

Salesperson: Hi ma’am can I help you?

Me: Yes, I am looking for a kitchen table.

Salesperson: Ok, but why are there 4 baskets of laundry behind you?

Me: I have to make sure my laundry fits on it before I buy the table. Duh.

@pro_worrier_

Does my family really expect me to express my love for them on Valentine’s Day when we’ve been trapped together for months??

@pro_worrier_

My daughter is mad at me because I didn’t offer her a banana first thing this morning.

She hates bananas.

@pro_worrier_

My husband wants to install surround sound because apparently what our family really needs is to hear Let it Go with 360 audio.