@prufrockluvsong
Remember the good old days when everyone was going to hell in handbaskets instead of in flaming runaway mine carts?
@prufrockluvsong
@prufrockluvsong
Nurse: strip down to your underpants
Me: ok *removes pants to reveal second pair of pants*
@prufrockluvsong
them: I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT
me: *breaking their glasses* no you won’t
@prufrockluvsong
Me: is everything ok you seem distant
Them: that’s the wrong end of the binoculars
@prufrockluvsong
Me: *changes channel* *changes channel*
Pet hermit crab: no wait go back
Announcer: welcome to house hunters
@prufrockluvsong
my personal injury lawyer: *confused look*
me: ANSWER ME, ARE YOU SEEING OTHER CLIENTS OR NOT
@prufrockluvsong
What if your beverage could lightly choke you? Try boba! Yes, boba. Combining refreshment and near death experience since 1980.
@prufrockluvsong
Looking for mini donuts and mini muffins at the mini mart but everything is normal sized. Like I don’t have enough to deal with right now.
@prufrockluvsong
[ opening music ]
scientist: try not to give each other the zombie virus
everyone: lol
[ roll credits ]
@prufrockluvsong
[cashier slapping the Cool Ranch chips out of my hand]: Oh no you don’t, nerd